Interesting One Liners

Husbands Are Proof That Women Have a Sense of Humor.

If you tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe, he'll believe you. But if you tell him a park bench has just been painted, he has to touch it to be sure.

I've never been drunk, but often I've been over served.

The hardest part of skating is the ice.

The road to success is always under construction.

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Join the army, see the world, meet interesting people, and kill them.

When I was born, I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.

The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.

If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.

Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

Born free, taxed to death.

The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train.

Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.

Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.

I say no to drugs, they just don't listen.