Interesting One Liners

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Join the army, see the world, meet interesting people, and kill them.

When I was born, I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.

The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.

If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.

Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.